For You

Each experience adds another element to the complexity and vastness that is life. Each moment brings a feeling, a thought, a development. Every breath building on the one before. Some portions of our selves so far beneath the current blocks of life that they are barely known even to ourselves. And yet, the results are visible. Our actions, our attitudes reflecting our inner web. Each part of us playing a role in the direction and choices we make...influencing our reactions and future steps--whether or not we see it. Whether we run from those deepest parts of our being or embrace them, we are still responding to them.

Few are the people who really know all the pieces of our hearts--who see the lines written and know what's in between.

Life can be so convoluted. Our paths rambling and tangled. It is relief to find a friend who can help you discover freedom with yourself. Sometimes we need reassurance--a place to relish reprieve and comfort. Where release is welcome. Such friends are the grass to our sky. They are the safe place to rest when the fragile and yet overwhelmingly intricate fragments of our existence close in. They are God's arms in our world.

You have been this for me. Let me be this for you.

A Rant...

Anyone who knows me knows I live in an organized chaos. While I prefer for everything to have its place and be in it, I'm also much too random to always prescribe to my sensibilities. I suppose I am a complex mess of a person. Sometimes too organized for my own good, other times so random as to frustrate myself.

I'm a special brand of freak...sometimes even annoying myself with my innate habits. To make things worse, I'm a terrible multi-tasker, taking on many projects at once. I won't just be doing, say...three things at once, but I'll also be thinking about five other situations.

So I end up filling my mind to overflowing. Yet, I stuff more information in...but in the process I'm inadvertently pushing previous items out of my mind. So, I find I must put things in a specific place in order to remember them, keep them in tact, and be able to find them again later with little thought or time.

Time is, of course, of big concern. With all of the projects I'm attacking, I have to keep track of my highly valuable time. When I choose to be inefficient with my time, I know that I'm choosing the relaxation over my projects. And to only make things worse, I'm highly visual...so I need everything involved with a project to be in plain sight. Some thoughts won't even fully form for me without some kind of visual stimulus.

Seriously, I'm a menace to myself. And to others. I often need a sound board in order to truly know my own opinion or in order to complete a train of thought. Even as I write this, I say the phrases out-loud. Honestly, I don't know how Reid puts up with me. I'm specific with myself to a flaw. Fortunately, I've mostly outgrown the need for others to conform to my world. This world created within the limits of my mind, but ever expounding to cover the unconquered world around me.

and his name shall be envy...

The green devil pokes up his head and eyes her. He senses her weaknesses, feels her vulnerability. He ever-so-carefully probes her open wounds, patiently waiting for a potent moment to pounce.

She never sees him coming. Overly confident that time will soothe the pain and heal the lacerations, she pushes the wounds from her mind. After all, she reminds herself, survival demands forward motion, progress, development...moving on.

But as she heads forward, she can't help but notice the differences between her and all those around. Human nature takes its hold and the similarities vanish from her mind. Only the widening gulf of disparity and permeating loss bind her focus.

Then the green devil strikes. He aims for her heart--the strongest and yet most exposed region of her being. For if he captures that which sustains life, then he controls her.