I really don't like trying to please people, I mean when it's not something you want to do anyway, and then you find yourself compromising even more in order to keep peace or civility or some sense of social decorum--which no one is really feeling in the first place. I'm definitely not going to meet up to your expectations if I don't know what they are, and even if I do know them, I probably still won't meet them, as I am my own person, and I have my own family, and we know who we are, at least as much as anyone can in a particular moment. So just let me be myself. Leave me to act as I would in a situation, and stop trying to make me feel badly about it. As if life isn't difficult enough without us causing problems out of nothing. Grow up. Have some respect for me. I have certainly only tried to show you respect, even when I don't agree with you, and even when you are cruel. I could be cruel. I know exactly the thing I could say to hurt you. A few words from my mouth, and I could sit back and watch you fall to pieces, completely melt on the floor. But alas, I cannot allow myself to act on this impulse--as then I would be just like you. And that's not who I am. I have self-control. I have empathy. I understand you try to control the world around you because you feel inadequate, weak, and empty. So go ahead. Say your mean-hearted comments. Continue to be manipulative and passive-aggressive. I will continue to be firm in who I am and what I believe, while still doing everything in my power to be kind. Even though I don't always want to.
28 April 2010
Conflict Resolution
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3 comments:
Wow, you tell 'em, Jess! Hope that wasn't directed at me.. :) It did remind me of one of our conversations though, and I happy to report that we have since discussed our issues and things are going much smoother! I can give details if you like, including the fact that the conversation took us until 4am! :D Love you!
hey jess, that's so funny i was about to write something about this myself! it's super encouraging to hear someone who shares the same perspective. i'm always thrown off by bad interactions and start to question if my way is right after all -- maybe i should have said something back in the moment -- but i think you're right that kindness really is the only option we have. sometimes it helps me to think of the verse "for He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked," which reminds me that that is how God treats me, in a way I don't deserve.
You and I are SO alike in our thinking and venting. Love you, dear!
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